Category Archives: jokes

Yoga and Meditation Jokes

Three Yogis are doing meditative in a remote cave. One day a sound is heard from outside the cave. After about six months, one of the yogis says, “Did you hear that goat?” Once again, there was silence. About a year later, one of the other Yogis says, “That wasn’t a goat; it was a mule.” Again, there was silence. About two years later the third yogi says, “If you two don’t stop arguing, I’m leaving.”

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Four monks agreed to meditate in silence for a week and to not speak a single word. On the first day, they all maintained silence. But as darkness fell, the flame of their singular candle began to flicker. “Oh, the flame is going out, said one monk. “Eh, we should not speak a single word, said the second monk. “Why do you two want to speak? said the third monk “Ha! I am the only one who did not talk! said the fourth monk.

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A group of bats, hanging from the ceiling of a cave, discover a single bat STANDING upright below them on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask, “What’s wrong with you? What are you doing down there?” The standing bat answers, “Yoga!”

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Two men meet on the street.
One asks the other: “Hi, how are you?”
The other one replies: “I’m fine, thanks.”
“And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?”
“Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.”
“Meditating? What’s that?”
“I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing!”

Choking Dog

choking-dog-cartoonA highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err,which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?” A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, “It’s my dog. Why?” “Well,” squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, “I believe my dog just killed it, sir.” “What?” roared the big man in disbelief. “What in the hell kind of dog do you have?” “Sir,” answered the little man, “It’s a four week old puppy.” “Bull!” roared the biker, “How could your puppy kill my Doberman?” “It appears that he choked on it, sir.”